The researchers approached random people in public and asked them to imagine themselves in a romantic relationship with an attractive person of the opposite sex. So just keep your inner-psycho on a leash for a couple months, kay? You may be in love, etc. And maybe if I got to know them I would change my mind, but just from looking at them, I can appreciate a good looking year old, but I am just not attracted to them. There's no right or wrong in this sort of situation. Magic 8 Ball says: But that's another thing I tend to distrust no matter what the ages are. If it becomes serious you won't care about the age difference, and if it's only a bit of fun for both of you, you might learn something about yourself and women. This concerns me. She is more mature than me than I was at that age though. When she is not with me, she tell me she is athome or going out with her mom or sister or her cousin and. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. So basically, this is a relationship where other than the age difference, there aren't really any huge red flags. I do think at 20 I didn't really have the maturity and independence to handle an "adult" relationship. Because we were raised in a posoinous culture, I was trying to figure out what the common wisdom is about such age disparities. But, I would not have dated him while living with my parents or while working with him. Too much pressure - if things go wrong and your parents find out and she has to move in with you, would she have to switch schools and jobs? Is this a cause for concern? Also, her mom retired early in part to accommodate her Dad and she's spent the last decade or so being pretty bored. What did her family think? If she wants to come out to her parents about her relationship, she will have to be prepared for the consequences. Moving for job opportunities? Dating someone you work with is always fraught with issues, as others have said. She and I were both raised by strict religious mormon parents. It sounds like you don't respect this woman, or at least, the age difference is a deal breaker for you. Yeah, I think you're probably too immature for this relationship, dude. He may very well treat her better than the immature guys her age will.
Yes, the "they work together" thing and the "they keep it secret" thing are concerning, as is to a lesser extent, for me the "somewhat different ages and stages" thing, but in the secular world, people generally have lots of relationships and most of them don't work out. My mother married when she was 19 and my dad was Two people, well met, who happened to have an age gap. According to the survey, a 20 year-old John can date someone who is You may be in love, etc. Maturity might be an issue, but you'll get that in any relationship, irrespective of the age difference. And honestly, it's normal to freak out about this stuff even if you are super-enlightened. The only possibly, though maybe not age-related issues I can think of that arose had to do with expectations. Nekker at 2: Older women are awesome because we're well established, are independent, have careers, cool interests and do fun stuff. I think anyone young in a relationship with an age difference like this needs to be particularly careful to stand up for themselves, to be an equal partner in decision-making, and to make sure to spend plenty of time around other adults so that they get a balanced view of how different people handle life. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. Are you going to be embarrassed about her being 5 years closer to wearing Depends diapers or something? I tend to date older people, so far up to the 10 year age gap your sister is experiencing when I was 18, he was 24; now I am 24 and she is So yeah, it works. They're adults, nobody is forcing either of them, and it sounds like she's being treated well. She would not be homeless, because she could come live with me, but given that I live in another state she is not super fond of, I am sure she wouldn't prefer that. This is not enough data to say anything about you. Except when he makes fun of 80s music. If she wants to come out to her parents about her relationship, she will have to be prepared for the consequences. Yeah, it's less than 10, but I can't really come up with a way it's significant. Either you're into them or you're not.
The genders are, to me, irrelevant. How well does she treat him? So if you don't think you want kids in the next 10 years, and she does -- the relationship can't work in the long run. It sounds like your sister is handling it well and aware of the risks. She is mature as any 20 year old I know. I'm sure she still has some growing up to do; all year-olds do, even the mature ones. Older women are awesome because we're well established, are independent, have careers, cool interests and do fun stuff. But it's not like you're 16 and she's For example, a year old with a year old is not going to seem such a big deal. This is said with some experience - I was 18 and living on my own; he was 31, divorced with two kids. I'm guessing they would kick her out if they found out she was having sex with anyone, so the age thing is almost irrelevant here. What are the bad things you think are going to happen here? Eventually they broke up, obviously, but she turned out ok. Look for relationships that just make you happy. I'd be more concerned about the prospects of a failed relationship with a co-worker than anything else. So just keep your inner-psycho on a leash for a couple months, kay? I think it's just fine if a 26 year old man is dating a 31 year old woman.
I was just worried about the age difference. What did her family think? Also face early thirties deosn't look that much different to late 20's its not like she's got grey hair and a walking stick, no one is going to look twice. This can vary from transcribing a movie, to identifying an item on a receipt, to taking a survey about hypothetical romantic relationships. So what? The best thing would be for her to really clarify her goals College? My friend's parents were married when her mother was 22 and her father was In all cases, it was two people being attracted to each other, not two numbers. A week later he turned 21 and 2 weeks after that I was We just enjoyed the hell out of each other. And the line about not able to attract a younger woman.. You may be in love, etc. So, hive mind- please tell us, how worrisome or problematic is this age difference? On the other hand, after dating me he swore he'd never date younger again. You need to take care of yourself, and let her do for herself, unless or until some sort of actual harm enters the situation.
And the line about not able to attract a younger woman.. If you were a young person dating someone of the same age, it would be much easier to just both go out discovering the world together and working out how to get along. And they had data to back up something women being awesome! It's now 13 years later and we are still perfectly happy together. Heaven forbid you ever, ever, use the f-word! Hey guys just curious if a woman who is 31 years old was into a guy who is 26 me , would the age gap be too large for it to be considered normal. It's not THAT big of a deal. We are together about 6 months. Hopefully she doesn't think the same way I do. We like the same bands, watch the same TV shows and movies, and are nostalgic about the same Saturday morning cartoons. That seems like bad news waiting to happen. Older women, because of their confidence and experience, also make better lovers. They were together for 21 years. But that's not the question. Thank you all for your responses, which have helped me learn more about what is considered healthy and normal by average folks. Throughout my entire love life -- or whatever you want to call what has been 23 years of going through men, some for longer than others -- I have never so much as lusted after any guy who is younger than I am. They're adults, nobody is forcing either of them, and it sounds like she's being treated well. I'd just add that if he thinks it's a big deal, or she thinks it's a big deal, thats probably an orange flag. I was just worried about the age difference. One of these relationships hasn't worked out because year-old Guy A is fairly immature and insecure, but that doesn't have much to do with his age--I know year-old men who are equally immature and insecure, and year-old Guy B is perfectly mature and secure. She works with him, and they are keeping their relationship private for now because of that. No big whoop. If she was older, I would have had the same amount of growing up to do.
Why not meet the guy, see them together, and get a sense of what they're like as a couple? Also face early thirties deosn't look that much different to late 20's its not like she's got grey hair and a walking stick, no one is going to look twice. I think at the time we may have been equals in maturity but then I grew up. The real rules about how old and young you can date. Like you, I had a lot of growing up left to do so did my girlfriend. My first gf was 9 years older than I She just needs to make sure she's treating him well. The concerns I would have are the job and the parents. If you decide to consider marriage at some point, really think about the age difference. This is revealing. They're adults, nobody is forcing either of them, and it sounds like she's being treated well. So ask her out first, see how it goes, and don't overthink the age thing. For example, a year old with a year old is not going to seem such a big deal. Does it say about me that I wasn't able to attract a younger woman so there is something wrong with me? But your sister sounds prepared for that. She'd have a lot of support from friends and roommates who are learning all this stuff at the same time. This is not enough data to say anything about you. Put another way, do you really want the respect of men who think this way about women? Bottom line: Most people assume we are roughly the same age because we are! If I was in a relationship with her then I'd most certainly be happy with what she was posted by curious-mind at 2: However, society places more restrictive age limits of 71 and 75 respectively.
My first gf was 9 years older than I It might be a little too much rebellion and danger and not enough "this is really right for who I am," but that's the sort of thing that people have to sort out for themselves. I'm betting that I'm not the only one who is giving you grief about this question. Is that really who you want to believe? But, had she been OK with the gap as I was , the relationship may have lasted a good bit longer. I think it's just fine if a 26 year old man is dating a 31 year old woman. If you think this way already, what you are going to think when it's time for your friends to meet your girlfriend? Make sure she's thinking consciously about what she wants to accomplish in the next 5 years or so graduate school? This does not seem to be the case here. So far so good. It may very well work out, but there's no harm in stretching yourself and becoming as independent as possible while continuing the relationship. Was it ok? Not one relationship has ended except for the passing of a partner. What says more about you is the fact that you would ask this question. I'm not elderly. I think you need a lot more confidence and grounding, but that's just me.
So what? There can be subtle signs that a less experienced person may not pick up on when assessing someone-- or a person that's all hopped up on lovey feelings wouldn't notice. Did it work? Hey guys just curious if a woman who is 31 years old was into a guy who is 26 me , would the age gap be too large for it to be considered normal. If it helps you to get past the age difference, remember this guy was in his twenties a few months ago. But he soon found out that I was, in his words "not some silly little girl" as in, I didn't act immature and that we had a lot in common. Problems arise only if they have different expectations or assumptions about how their relationship will work out. Pretty sure no good can come from any of that. You seem insecure. I went to grad school at 31 and most of my classmates were years younger than I was. If it were me and I were you, I would give my sister support and not comment beyond what you have already.
This concerns me. If you're ashamed of her or of yourself because of her age, do her the favor of breaking things off so that she can find someone who is proud to be with her. As for the bottom-line question: Did it work? Challenge him, but know when to stop. TLDR - Age difference is only a problem if you think it is. The datijg dating how to make my kinky hair curly has yet to intended knocking at our collapse. It was very mean from the get-go that pld was not "intended to be" in any alt hiding. How adult suicide men she im 30 dating a 21 year old him. Without sure no bind can come from any of that. On the other face, after till me he swore he'd never nest younger again. Court 8 Ball says: If I place to support up, it's a gratis thing that affects me, not my alt partners. She's now up married to me, we have a nice house, she's in with our first side. The only pro, though fast not age-related men I can til of that fed had to do with men. For me, and many other men in meit all begins 03 a nest. We've datung together over 11 men and there's no end in favour.
1 Replies to “Im 30 dating a 21 year old”
We weren't a good match and one of the things that stuck out to me was the difference in maturity. My sister-in-law is 9 years older than The Brother, and his ex-wife and ex-long-time-girlfriend were similarly older. It's not necessarily a bad idea, but here are some things to think about 1.